Argh.

What is it with submissive men and cages? Why do a lot of them want to be caged all the time?

“Oy, you, do the dishes and then I’ll beat you up.”

“No. I want to stay in the cage.”

“O rly? How about I electrify it and see how long you’ll stay in it then.”

Cheeky men; gotta love em.

But there are men who do want that for real. At least, I think they do when they try to send me their lists of requirements. Excuse me but who’s in charge here? Me or them? Oh, silly me, I forgot, it’s them because it’s their fantasy. If they want to stay in that cage then that’s fine by me. I’ll just go off and do something that doesn’t involve staring at some twat in a cage. Like having fun for instance. Or getting out some Old Who.

But not all want to be just left alone; some, like Charlie, woul get stuffed in one and then be tortured to hell and back. Things poked at him. Substances poured on him. Getting wound up and humiliated that I’m doing it to him. And sometimes when it’s time to let him out I become afraid because it’s akin to letting a rather angry lion out. I want to run and hide but I don’t. It’s mostly because I love seeing the state he’s in. I love seeing if he’ll switch and turn on me or be very spaced. You never know with a switch.

I fail at topping, yes.

I can’t use a flogger. I really can’t. A couple of years back, when I was just starting switching, I had a guy and it was my first proper time switching. In hindsight, I prolly should have gagged the eejit but I didn’t. Anyway, when I got a flogger out and started hitting him (it was my first time and I was being really careful to not wrap) he blurted out “PRO DOMMES DON’T DO IT LIKE THAT, YOU’RE SHIT.” I stopped and walked out on him and never saw him again. (I’m not a pro Domme as Bitchy Jones puts it; I’m an am-dom, well, a switch.) (Srsly, you should read her, she’s fantastic, yes.)

I’ve never picked up a flogger since.

Not long after that, I went to a club and there were people with floggers and they were really competent and it just reminded me of how inept I was. It was almost enough to put me off topping, but it didn’t. But each and every time I go to a club, there are people using floggers nd being so awesome, it just leaves me feeling flat and crap and a fraud. There are people using two at once maaaaaaaaaaaan.

To put it into geek terms, its like they’re level 26 fighters with the dual weapon style proficiency and i’m a level one mage armed with one magic missile spell. Yeah.

I really want to get over this stupid hang up but I can’t. I freeze every time I pick one up. After seeing so many people use them, I can’t get the swing of it right. They do this figure of eight thing. I can’t get it. I look like an idiot just holding one.

I fail.

But I’m good with other things, yes.

I have this rubber strap and it’s brilliant. It’s long and thick and bendy but not too bendy. I can hit exactly where and what I want to hit with it. No wrap-around or anything else untoward. It’s definitely a formidable weapon. I can hit hard without even trying and I can hit gently. I wish everything was just like it.